Like the charge of electricity that lingers in the air in the midst of a thunderstorm, the presence of death is sufficient enough to render a more reverent and deferential attitude towards life-for a time. Although there is nothing more certain in life than death- even this steadfast assurance leaves us none the more emotionally prepared for it’s arrival. I have experienced no greater feeling of incompetence as I now feel. As my words begin to ring hollow --even to my own ears and my embraces carry the patina of a much loved but now useless tool, I am rendered wholly ineffective. I hover precariously on the brink of insanity as I am unsure of how to proceed. My days are completely reactionary and unstable. It is a very unsettling feeling and it's effects have rendered me an insufferable insomniac. While I do not personally mourn, I empathize with my loved ones that do. Eventually, we will all get back to living. It is imperative. As a reminder that it was here, death has left mourning at our doorstep.
an ugly ever-present black cloud smothers & crushes her like an angry crowd dulls her eyes slays her song fills her with shame though she’s done no wrong once more pain invades her chest as sorrowful thoughts disturb her rest around her dance the demons of doubt & fear & once again the black dog draws near