suspicion ~ blue phoenix

an ugly
ever-present black cloud
smothers & crushes her
like an angry crowd
dulls her eyes
slays her song
fills her with shame
though she’s done no wrong
once more pain
invades her chest
as sorrowful thoughts
disturb her rest
around her dance the demons
of doubt & fear
& once again
the black dog draws near



copyright © 2008 KPMCL

self expression - C C Gill

i told my beloved i did not get silence.
i needed to
hear about
what is on
his mind.
He said
that was not his way.
I would ask him if he thought me pretty.
He said you already know so i do not need to tell you.
On another day
i had allowed myself to say
my soul, my heart,
had to cling to
some words
for this is what
binds me to him.
Like, did he ever miss me?
Or was he dying to kiss me,
still he nonverbally dissed me
and did not try
to fill to the empty places.
those pockets his spoken
thoughts could touch.
The last time i saw him
we fell upon the nest,
the bed,
and he touched me, and it
was that moment,
That moment
i held my voice,
my expression of choice
all to myself.
When he moves me,
i am most always compelled
from a deep private well
to scream unchecked,
uncontrolled,
and completely lost
in my abandon.
The last time
it was my orgasm, all mine,
i wouldn't share.
It was mine.
It was my own pleasure,
my own spasm
of one
thought,
time, and
place.
Then, from no where
He took
my self expression,
calling me,
calling my name,
and i didn't call
him at all, not once.
And his words
echoed around us
where mine
used to be.
When he left me for sleep,
That deep, rich sleep passion leaves you in,
i arose and gathered myself.
i left my pain
in his open hand
i left his door key
in his open hand.
I took my Zane Sex Chronicles,
and i reclaimed my voice
and left him forever.

Copyright © April 2008 by C C Gill. All rights reserved.

cee_duncan@hotmail.com

Love, poetry, passion, expression, beloved